Celebrate Valentine's Day : Exchange SMS & messages, expresss love, but play it safe

Love is a many- splendored thing, and Valentine’s Day is here to remind us of this. The universally declared ‘ day of love’ has assumed the same gigantic proportions as New Year’s Day or Diwali for many young men and women, who start getting obsessed about ways of expressing their love for their partners several weeks in advance. Saying ‘ I love you’ is passé, as the magnitude of your love is now proportional to the gestures made and the money spent to prove it.

A long time ago, falling in love was an amazingly straightforward process. A young man asked a young woman out for a meal, a walk in the park, or to the movies. If they liked each other, they would eventually start going steady. If this went well, they would get engaged and eventually, married. ‘ Happily ever after’ was the norm, rather than the exception.

Though romance still had the usual emotional highs and lows, it moved along a clearly anticipated trajectory with commitment as the end point. But love in this millennium has been transformed by the media and technology.

Romantic relationships have turned into a series of unpredictable, high speed encounters that are more ‘ heady’ than ‘ steady’. Internet, social networking sites and mobile phone technology have altered the rules of relationships.

Lives have been turned into open books by Facebook and virtually everyone a person has ever encountered in his or her life ends up becoming a virtual “ friend”. Often, intimate details of lives are shared with random people, and relationships are created via social networking sites rather than through telephone conversations and meetings.

Love today is more about friendship, and friendship, love. The line between the two is blurred, leading to confusion about intentions: Was the guy’s hug friendly or did it mean something more? Was the coffee date platonic or was it a move towards romance? Behaviour considered “ inappropriate” a decade ago ( such as telephoning or texting someone you are not intimate with at 3 am, or having sex with someone you have met just twice) is acceptable today.

Minus the traditional markers, couples tend to slide into relationships they aren’t sure about. Today’s dating styles are as varied and eclectic as Rohit Bal’s wardrobe and dating in the new millennium can be like a turbulent voyage, to be navigated carefully.

Women setting off for that romantic outing with a special someone need to bear in mind that we live in uncertain times, making it important to plan for safety in advance. Protecting yourself and setting boundaries is especially important these days, since dates generally involve alcohol, and date rape is a problem to worry about. Contrary to the idea that strangers commit acts of rape, most such incidents involve close friends. So before you set off on a romantic tryst, it’s advisable to give your date’s name, address and phone number to two of your close friends. Always carry cash with you and feed all the relevant emergency numbers into your phone — women’s helpline number (1091), number of the local police station, that of your best friend, etc.

Meet in a public place if you don’t know your date well. Have a couple of your friends call you periodically during your date. Keep in mind that the most common rape drug is alcohol, so be careful when drinking with someone you are not completely sure of.

Apart from drinking too much, some combinations such as mixing energy drink cocktails such as Red Bull with vodka can make you even more susceptible to rape. Never leave your drink unattended: it takes only a second to put something in your drink and you won’t be able to tell if this has happened, as date rape drugs have no colour, smell, or taste.

Keeping these simple precautions in mind will enable you to have a fabulous time with that special man in your life. At the end of a successful date, you will be smarter — both about the guy and how to navigate your way through more outings with him.